Tuesday, August 02, 2011


So I'm sitting here at home, on my day off, having just finished Ugly Betty (yes. All four seasons. Great show. Makes me so happy when they start dressing Willhelmina in colour in season 3 and 4.) and thinking i should do something semi constructive like work on my final assignment. Nope can't do that because I feel like I'm being stabbed in the uterus and I can hardly take a photo of a potato being peeled when I'm the only one home, can I? The I think, maybe I should post on my blog? "I have nothing to post about my blah blah apathy blah."

Then, miracle of miracles, I remember this wee gem that I started last week and I figure I may as well continue it. Since my cookie post was so popular (2 comments, hells yes) I figure it's a good idea to share some more of my hilarious culinary wisdom with my instructions on how to make a top notch pizza. Because you may have notice I make pizza A LOT. I'm quite the expert, see?

1. First you need to gather your ingredients. You will need a standard oven, a ready made pizza base (think you're top shit and can roll out you're own dough? As with cookies, this is no place for you!) pizza sauce, grated cheese and your preferred toppings. I personally love prosciutto, sliced tomato and feta, but it's up to you. This is YOUR pizza. But if you put capsicum or olives on that shit you're not my friend.

2. Next you need to put a saucey base on your base. I love garlic, so I use abotu a teaspoon of that and a shit load of pre-bottled pizza sauce. Put them both on, then spread them- garlic doesnt spread so well on it's on. Be liberal. A saucey pizza is a good pizza in my books. (Just remember if it's really saucey it will also be really hot. I have been known to burn the roof of my mouth.

3. next comes the cheese. I apply cheese underneath and on top of my toppings, so don't despair if you think the below shot looks lacking of cheesey goodness. Besides, too much cheese leads to obesity and heart attacks. I like to save my calloric intake for the feta.

4. Apply your chosen toppings. I use a whole roma tomato, sliced and then halved, 3 or 4 slices or prosciutto/serrano and a generous helping of feta. I also add pepper because it's nummy.

5. When your toppings are in place, cover them with a sprinkling of cheese. You may notice a distinct lack of feta in these photos. My mother had used it all the the previous nights salad. I wasn't too impressed. But you'll just have to imagine it's there.

6. When your pizza is ready for the melty-crispification process, put it in the oven at 180 for 10 minutes or so. Normally, after 10 minutes, it will require a little more time but always check the base to see how crunchy it is first- we all have crunch preferances.

7. Take your pizza out and cut it. Most people cut it into 8 slices. But really. You KNOW you're gonna eat the whole thing. It may as well be in larger pieces so you can say you only ate 4 slices of pizza. No one needs to know you ate 4 quarters. And yes. That is REAL steam rising off that pizza- not the ol' wet tampon in a microwave trick that Dominoes use.

8. Enjoy your pizza.
featuring my new hair style.

-m xx


  1. Quite entertaining! And what do you have against olives? Megan and I always order pepperoni & olives lol. We usually just buy the prepackaged crust and sauce and then get the toppings, but I'll have to try it your way sometime...and convert that 180 degrees to Fahrenheit. :)

  2. Update! Your # 1 fan misses you. :D