Thursday, May 26, 2011

Sea Monkeys and Cemeteries

So on Saturay I was casually strolling through the toy department of Big W (as you do) when I thought to myself "Man I wish I had sea monkeys, they were the coolest," and then I turned into the last aisle and what did I see? Sea fucking monkeys.

And the best bit was, unlike 4 years ago when I last considered buying sea monkeys, $20 seemed a bit extravagant for brine shrimp in a plastic tank. But back then, I was earning $100 a week, putting half of it straight into savings and somehow making a measly $50 stretch to buy lunch every day at school and alcohol on the weekend. now, the $17.94 Big W charges for the "starter pack" is just a drop in the ocean of things that make me spend money.

I hatched them on Sunday. So far they're little more than little specks floating around in their tank. Tomorrow I can start feeding them and then they'll start getting bigger. Sea Monkeys are a special hybrid brine shrimp which have been bred to grow larger and live longer than natural brine shrimp. With proper care, they can live up to two years and grow up to 3/4".

For anyone who's lived a deprived life and never had Sea Monkeys, you pour a small sachet of crystallised eggs into the tank. When the eggs hit the water, the protective casing dissolves and the eggs can then hatch. After 5 days, you being feeding the Sea Monkeys, every second day.

They're pretty damn amazing.

Yesterday I went on a photography/thrifting excursion to Newtown with my friend B. I got the train, which is something I don't do very often because, well there's no point walking 20 minutes to my nearest station when I can just get a bus from outside my house. That and there's a Vinnies on the way to West Ryde station and I ALWAYS end up in there. Yesterday was no exception. Hadn't even gotten to Newtown and I'd already made two purchases: a strange multi-coloured belt thing (that I doubt I'll ever actually wear but for $1 who cares, right?) and the cutest velvet envelope clutch patterned with gold bows.

It's something that I would probably think is hideous if I saw it in a regular store but in Vinnies it just looked so adorable. And it was $5 so I wasn't exactly making a huge dent in my wallet. Oddly enough when I got to Newtown I didn't find anything worth buying at their Vinnies. I find different areas have vastly different prices. If I saw this same bag at Newtown Vinnies, it would probably have set me back $15. That said suburbs like Rozelle, Newtown and Paddington that charge higher prices normally have better stock. It's pretty hard to find something decent at my local thrift stores but it's worth it because they're always such a bargain.

We started off the day with sushi train and the place was pretty incredible. they actually had beef sushi which is something I've never seen on a train. I felt overwhelmed being at an unfamiliar train so I ate a lot slower than I normally do and between us we only spent $23. Considering me and J normally spend somewhere between $38 and $43, and last time actually managed to spend $64, I was impressed by how well I controlled myself. They even have sachets of mayonnaise! Mayonnaise and sushi are such an odd combination but it really is a match made in heaven. Whoever thought of that is a genius.

After our lunch and our disappointing Vinnies visit we sought refuge from the icy conditions in Max Brenner. I got one of their $6 Italian thick hot chocolates, which I found out are made with vanilla cream as opposed to milk. They're amazing though. It's like drinking melted chocolate and you feel like puking half way through but it's so worth it on a cold windy day.

After a few wrong turns, we made our way to Newtown Cemetery. It's really ridiculously old. I didn't see a single stone that wasn't from the 1800s. It's nice to spend some time in an Australian cemetery after all the ones I visited in Europe. Instead of marble there was sandstone, because that's basically what Sydney is built on. Sadly, because of that, some of the pieces had lost a lot of detail.

My favourite type of headstone is the kind that lists the cause of death. Call it morbid but there's not much interesting about "here lies the mortal body of blah, wife of blah who worked in blah industry, died blah, age blah". Seriously. How much cooler is "Here lies this guy, drowned in Sydney harbour on this day, aged dramatically young." Much more interesting.

-m xx

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Recluse

This film clip is a bit more creative than some of the others. I really like how they use both the prison scene and his life as a celebrity in the clip. The whole album goes with the in-prison-for-a-false-rape-charge theme but it's interested that they showed another angle for this song in the clip.

One more left! Unless of course they upload another on to youtube in the next two weeks. I hope they do because the last one leaves the story a bit unfinished, to say the least. And a few of my favourites are left out.

I'm writing this on Wednesday night. It's most likely than when you're reading this I'll be sleeping off a big night. Or if I'm feeling particularly ambitious, eating breakfast. Or, if I'm really productive, emptying a can of Glen 20 in my kitchen to try and cover up the smell of alcohol, pizza and stale tobacco.

-m xx

20/05/2011 UPD: So if the crazies are right you probably won't ever read this because it'll be The Rapture and you'll be distracted by all that judgement and all them earthquakes. Happy end of the world bitches.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

When the cats away...

The mice will...

Play nintendo instead of doing course work.
Catch up on course work and get straight As
Fail at ordering groceries online.
Rally the troops (i.e. me) and make a last minute dinner of pasta with a chicken nepolitana sauce cooked from scratch. At 7:30pm.
Eat way too much.
Watch Angry Boys and marvel in the comic genius of Chris Lilley.
Do three loads of washing in one week. For two people.
Fill up the dishwasher four times. For two people and various guests.
Lose an iPod touch somewhere in the folds of the massive couch.
Binge drink.
Order too much Indian takeaway.
"His name is Marcos but I call him Fuckos."
Make tiny pancakse.
Have icecream for breakfast.
Have people stay over and never get around to moving the "spare" (i.e. Mum's) mattress out of the loungeroom.
Scare the cat with too many visitors.
Play I Never.
Sneakily listen into a lover's quarrel taking place in the backyard.
Watch Miss Congeniality. One and Two.
Babysit on the central coast.
Arrive late.
Make potato bake.
Spend a lot of time at Dan Murphy's
Host a barbeque.
Play monopoly.
Eat unidentified fruits in an attempt to identify them.
Eat strawberry flavoured cigarette papers.
Go to the pub for dinner.
Pay $1 a slice for prosciutto because it was sliced too thick.
Eat too much home made pizza.
Watch Skins US.
Put a bra in the dryer.
Be sorely dissapointed with what was a perfectly good show untill America decided British TV wasn't so marketable.
Take a bra out of the dryer. In two pieces.
Bitch about how ugly the US version of Effy is. Seriously. Why?
Make a mess in the kitchen.
Eat dessert before dinner.
Go to bed because there's nothing good on TV.
Fall asleep on the couch at 10pm.
Spend their day off work cleaning the kitchen.
Find the cat.
Offend the cat by feeding her leftover sausages.
Lose the cat. Again.
Make spaghetti bolognaise.
Buy cookie dough with the plan to make cookies.
Eat raw cookie dough.
Think the laptop is broken when the battery dies.
Take evidenciary photos of the general mess in the house.
Forget to put the clothes in the dryer.
Make James put the clothes in the dryer.
"Fix" the computer.

Make a list.

That pretty much sums up the last 7 days. It's now Wednesday and I have two more days of work untill it's the weekend again! My plans so far involve sushi, alcohol, snack foods, minimal sleep and people. I have a friend's 20th Friday night but it's doubtful that me and the man will feel like trekking to Kings Cross after a week of work. I predict we'll spend the evening eating sushi at Top Ryde and drinking wine at home. But we'll see.

I'm working Friday this week because the amount of stuff I have to do just isn't going away. And the more I work, the more bookings I make, therefore the more likely it is I don't get fired. Then again I've passed the honeymoon period and I'm starting to slowly hate my job but I really don't feel like getting a new one again. It'd be nice to even get to six months in one occupation. Especially now that I'm working more hours and making a larger dent into my debt.

It's all a means to an end.

-m xx

Monday, May 16, 2011

She Said

So here it is. The fourth installment to the defamation of Strickland Banks
This is the frist single off the album and it's the song that got me listening to Plan B so it holds a special place even though I wouldn't call it my favourite.When I was in the UK it played on the radio a lot and for weeks I though it was a female singer. Then I saw the filmclip and realised that it was just an impressive falsetto. It's actually my ring tone lol.

You should see me get into the rapping section. I go OFF.

This got bigger than I ever could have planned
Like that song by the Zutons -"Valerie"


You don't know what love is.
You wouldn't do this if you did.

-m xx

16/05/2011 Update: I just discovered that for whatever reason this didn't post so I'm posting it now. Sheesh

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Vietnam part 2: Hanoi

We arrived in Hanoi Friday afternoon. After some brief trouble with the taxi driver not understanding my father's less than impressive attempts to pronounce his own suburb name we were on our way.
For reasons I still don't quite understand, Vietnam have scheduled blackouts in each area due to not having enough electricity to supply everyone all the time. Apparently they buy it as opposed to making it and there's a bit of a discrepancy between supply and demand. On the day we arrived in Hanoi, our suburb was electricity free.

After a tour of the 4 story, deep and narrow house there wasn't a huge amount to do within its walls (what with there being no electricity. GEEZUS) so me and Steph went fruit shopping in the surrounding streets with Twee. Everywhere we went people stared. I think the fact that there were Caucasians in such a locals-dominated area, especially since one of those Caucasians had red hair and happened to be taller than anyone else as far as the eye could see, generated a lot of attention.

That night we headed into town for dinner at a restaurant where you can actually go into the kitchen and simply point at the various things you want. I left Twee to do the pointing and just stood in awe. After dinner we went to my dad's favourite bar in Hanoi- Bucket Bar. Now I was thinking it would be a fairly quiet sort of place full of locals.

I was wrong.

My dad's favourite bar was packed full of young backpackers staying in the hostel across the road. There were coloured lights and loud music. It was a club, that must have doubled as a creche, judging by the average age of the patrons. After one and a half Long Island ice tea buckets, we decided Dad had had enough and that it was a good idea to cut him off. So we swapped his half full bucket for an empty one when his back was turned. Unfortunately, it didn't fool him and he noticed that his drink was considerably dryer than before.

At around the time that people started drunkenly dancing on the bar we made our exit and found a taxi home. Dad was rambling away in the front seat about he'd like to open his own bar and have proper bar dancers- scantily clad Vietnamese women to be exact. Yes, cutting him off was a good idea. Shame it didn't work.
Getting to sleep wasn't easy that night. there was a strange cacophony of sounds, mostly from an indeterminable source. Firstly, there was a dog barking. This mingled in with what sounded like someone dropping planks of wood on a tile floor in the middle of a very aggressive ping pong match. On top of this, there was a sound that can only be described as being exactly like an army of people walking up and down the stair withs woks strapped to their feet. It's still a mystery as to what exactly was going on in that street. 

On Saturday we went into town again for some shopping. We started with an early lunch (second breakfast if you will) of Pho Ga at one of the many restaurants lining the streets. I manage to embarrass myself with the simplest of things, including eating soup and that day was no exception. I was perched on a stainless steel stool, in a chiffon maxi skirt. Steph asked me to move over because she didn't have enough table space. My body moved but my stool sort of stayed where it was and I went tumbling downwards- thankfully able to catch myself before I ended up arse on floor and covered in soup.

Vietnam is a great place to shop for a few select things: DVDs and paintings.
You will only pay 25,000 dong a disc. That's just over $1 AUD. It's madness.
Now yes, they are illegal and yes you could say it's also morally wrong but who cares? Most of them are surprisingly good quality. Just avoid the movies that are still in cinemas because they're not even worth trying to watch most of the time. Unless you like hearing the audience cough, or seeing the screen move out of view when the camera falls down.

As for paintings, in Hanoi at least there are a tonne of art shops. It's all hand painted and it's all cheap. there are plenty of copies of well known works- Lichtenstein is quite popular- as well as a few original designs or ideas that seem to keep popping up from store to store- they're really big on the four seasons thing. I got two small square canvas paintings for $18, which is ridiculously cheap compared to what I'd pay at home. There's something so nice about buying art. it really makes me feel good and ti was nice to actually be able to afford some.

That night we cooked our own dinner. We went into town and sat on tiny plastic chair at a street food place and cooked the most delicious beef. While we were eating, a woman carrying a basket of some unidentifiable fried dessert things came past about 4 times, trying to convince us to buy some. Clearly, as we were eating dinner, we weren't really interested in dessert.

After our meal we went across the road, back to Bucket bar for more buckets and inappropriateness. We sat out the front and hadn't been there more than ten minutes when a different dessert lady came around to offer her desserts. At this point, after seeing them so much, i was getting pretty damn curious so I asked her how much they were. Without responding, she started filling up a bag. I turned away to find my wallet and when i looked back, she was attempting to empty her entire basket of fried goods into a single freezer bag- for me. I tried to explain that I only wanted one, my sister and father doubled up with laughter beside me, but that didn't work so well. We managed to cut her down to half the amount and send her on her way.

Not long after, the original dessert lady came past and tried once again to offer me fried things. Finally, i had a reason to say no! I pointed at the freezer bag and said "I already bought some" and she fixed me with this look as if she though I was solely responsible for everything bad in the world. She stood there for quite some time, trying to stare me down and guilt me into buying more fried things, but I stood my ground. Eventually, she left. It may have been the funniest 15 minutes of my life.

Vietnam, being a communist country, has a 10pm curfew on all bars and restaurants. The locals, who depend so much on the tourists to make money, ignore that curfew. at around midnight the police came round and kicked everyone out of Bucket Bar. Me and Steph were standing on the street, waiting for a taxi when a very helpful yet slightly creepy local man who had more hair on this mole on his face than on top of his head offered to drive us home on the back of his bike. Being drunk and impatient, we accepted. Thankfully we got home without any trouble.

On the Sunday, our last full day in Vietnam, I didn't use my camera at all. Dad had a housewarming party and i spent the entire day wishing i was any where else. I wasn't in the mood to be socialising with strangers, particularly strangers who seem to think it's acceptable to get drunk to the point of puking in the middle of the day, and strangers with whom I had a considerable language barrier. Seriously though, don't give Vietnamese people alcohol- they drink like crazy! Middle aged people, throwing up at 4pm! What is the world coming to? Eventually, most of the guests had left and all that remained were a few stragglers. Instead of lying in a dark room by myself or plonking on the couch with some DVDs and a bowl of pasta like I really wanted to do, I had to go for a walk around a huge lake.

Eventually everyone cleared off and I happily made spaghetti arrabiata (the sauce was from a jar, fyi) and plonked on the couch with some DVDs. We watched two movies, with my dad snoring on the couch next to us the entire time. I woke him up no less than four times and told him to go to bed but he'd just say "in a minute" then promptly fall back to sleep.

The next day we'd hoped to head into town fairly early to make the most of our last day. Unfortunately, because the irresponsible party host (my father) had gotten drunk in the middle of the day, there was a lot of cleaning up to do from the day before. I, smug because I hadn't drank at all, felt no guilt at all in sleeping in and then sitting on the couch staring off into space and eating mango while the cleaning was taking place. I was the only one who didn't spill any drinks, there for I should be absolved from mopping up the sticky balcony, yes? I think so.

At around noon we finally left and went into town for the last time. We didn't have much spare time but we had lunch (Pho Bo this time) and did some quick browsing. I had 1,000,000 left still (considering I withdrew 2,500,000 at the start of the trip, I'm quite impressed with myself) which I was hoping to spend but nothing doing. We went back to the house for one last time to pack and then jumped in a taxi to the airport.

The trip home was even more torturous than the trip there. From Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh a fat little girl was sat behind me and kicked my chair the whole way. I told Steph that I would be immeasurably delighted if I was behind her on the next leg so i could exact my revenge. I shocked Steph a little by following up with "she was fat so I wanted to kick her anyway."

Let me just point out fat children make me really angry. It's wrong, unfair and bad parenting. Fat kids are set up for a life of obesity before they can even make conscious decisions about their health and it's a very difficult cycle to break if you've been brought up to eat wrong.

It was an overnight flight which meant I should have been sleeping but of course was completely unable to. I did, however, watch a lot of movies. I was truly happy to get home to a land where showers have walls and there a reasonable noise pollution laws. I've realised that travelling with other people isn't really something I enjoy. I got home, unpacked, showered without fearing tinea/serious injury from the wet floor and went straight to Top Ryde for sushi train with James.

There's no place like home.

-m xx

I fail at being domesticated.

Tonight my mother and sister are leaving for Europe- for three weeks. Which of course mean that i'll be spending that time "house sitting" (i.e. making a mess and feeding the cat)

Last night, I though I'd be smart and order groceries to be delivered, so I'd know I wouldn't have to worry about going to the shops to get tonight's dinner- canneloni and salad (with fetta I might add)

I ordered the $150 worth of food and other assorted items to be delivered between 3 and 7pm- in time for dinner. At 7:05pm, the grocery man still hadn't knocked on my door. Getting anxious and more than just a little hungry, I went to the Woolworths website to get the customer help number (which I'd already used yesterday to change the delivery address when i realised the food was on its way to my dad's house). While on hold, listening to the maddening Woolworths theme song over and over again (Australiaaaans are fresh food people...) I looked at the screen in front of me and saw the reserved delivery time. 15:00-19:00 Thursday 12 May.

I thought to myself "wait a tic, todays the 11th" and then realised that i'm utterly incapable of even having groceries delivered. I was mortified, James was amused. So now I'm cooking pasta from scratch, at 8 o'clock at night, when for the last 4 days I've been practically dreaming of canneloni.

And of course, because someone needs to be home tomorrow between 3pm and 7pm, I won't be able to work. At least not a full day. Which means I won't be getting such a glorious pay next week and most likely won't be bringing my debt down to a nice even $1500. But at least i still have canneloni to look forward to.


-m xx

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Love Goes Down

So here it is! Finally! The third installment to The defamation Of Strickland Banks.
This song is so classic seduction it isn't funny.
And who doesnt want to check out Kaya Scodelario some more?

Oh and in case you didn't realise/don't know, Kaya is better known for her role as Effy in Skins seasons 1-4. She's the only student character who featured in more than two seasons so she's pretty damn special.

And more than just a little bit sexy.
(but who doesn't love Panda? "Wizzerrr!")

Catch you on the flipside

-m xx

Saturday, May 07, 2011

40 Tips

This is something I found ages ago and didn't post here because of general high traffic at the time. I stumbled accross it last night in my facebook notes and I think I need to share it again. It's hilarious.

I have to apologise because I have no idea where I got it from.

I hope you appreciate irony!

40 tips for writing good English

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague; they’re old hat
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. Remember to never split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
23. Don’t never use a double negation.
24. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
25. Do not put statements in the negative form.
26. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
27. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
28. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
29. A writer must not shift your point of view.
30. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
31. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
32. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
33. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
34. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
35. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
36. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
37. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
38. Always pick on the correct idiom.
39. The adverb always follows the verb.
40. And always be sure to finish what

I hope that made you chuckle.
-m xx

Interactive fun

Who doesn't love an interactive youtube video? And who doesn't love Shane Dawson? And references to 90s slasher movies? Exactly, noone in their right mind doesn't love ALL of those things, so that's why I know you'll all LOVE this. Shane Dawson's most recent video- an interactive murder mystery in the spirit of the recent release of scre4m.

Don't worry if you pick the wrong person, it'll let you try again.

I saw screa4m on Thursday and I highly recommend it. Even if you haven't seen the previous films, it's still ah-mazing. That said there are a lot of really clever references to the first film, becuase it's written like a strange combination of a sequel and a remake- it's a sequel in which the killer is "remaking" the original murders. If you've seen the first Scream you will appreciate it on a much higher level. The second and third films really don't relate too much so don't stress about seeing them first. And truth be told the fourth trumps the previous two by far and is a fair comparison to the original.

In classic Scream fashion, the twist ending will not dissapoint. I'll give you a clue- it's a partnership. As in the first movie, the audience spends the whole time trying to work out who this one, seemingly omnipresent killer could be only to find out that there are two. So bear that in mind if you're the type who likes to work out the ending before it happens.

But seriously. Go see it.

-m xx

Wednesday, May 04, 2011


So my Shane Dawson vid was actually meant to be for Saturday.

But I accidentally for got to change the date before pressing publish and apparently if you change the date after, it travels through a time vortex and stays up- three days earlier than it was supposedly published.

(Kind of like when you lock yourself in a small room (the bathroom for example) with the windows shut and a small group of people and light up some... tobacco... and go up in time. I assume.)

Anyway I suppose it's ok because there are actual words in my Shane/SCRE4M post so it's not as half-assed as a traditional HAWP would be.

And as penance, if I can, I will post something else on Saturday. But to be honest I'm not even sure if I will be able to post this because of the odd problems with my dad's computer. If HP or Apple or someone are reading this and feel like donating a laptop to me for free product coverage (with my wide readership of course) I suppose I can take one off your hands. Maybe.


So fingers crossed that this works or I might have to do a sneaky publish at work tomorrow.

-m xx

UPDATE: ohmyeffinggod it worked! Possibly because Blogger seems to have updated a few things? Thank you!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Vietnam part 1: Hoi An

On the morning of Thursday 21st April I woke up at 6:30am, to the sound of my dad leaving the hotel room to go for a jog or something equally insane given the 38 degree, 80% humidity conditions in Hoi An, Vietnam. If I hadn't wanted to kill him the morning before when he was singing on the shuttle ride to the airport I sure did then. Thankfully, and uncharacteristically I fell back to sleep and managed to stay that way until about 8am.

The breakfast at The Glory Hotel was pretty much the best you can expect in Vietnam. A quirky blend of continental, Asian and British, with french pastries, fresh fruit, pho, and omelettes on demand. Our first stop was one of the countless tailoring shops in Hoi An. We were there for about 20 minutes at best, which was long enough for Steph to order two dresses. It was about 9:30am and they told us that the dresses would be ready at 6pm. We did a loop of the street and paused briefly outside a different tailoring shop. All of a sudden, the woman who'd fitted Steph at the previous store poke her head out. "You want to come inside, have look?" (if I'm one hundred percent honest her English was probably better than that.) "No thank you" we replied. She let us go easily, which should have tweaked suspicion. A few doors along, Steph noticed another dress that caught her fancy and she made the mistake of pointing it out to me. The same woman appeared again, trotting after us. "This my shop too!" (admit it, the broken English makes the story far more amusing). Within 10 minutes, she'd scored herself another dress order. And that was how my sister spent $100 on one street.

It was about this time that I put a blanket ban on Steph buying dresses.

From there we went to one of the many small bike rental places. It was then that I made a rookie error. We knew it was 3km to the beach, and that Dad's block of land that he hoped to show us was further along. We knew we had to ride back as well. It didn't take a genius to work out that we were looking at 7km on a bike, in the South-East Asian sun and none of us had bothered putting sunscreen on that morning.

I got burnt for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long. Like properly burnt, as opposed to slight redness that's brown by the next day. I even peeled a little bit- on my forehead and nose. The shame. I cannot tell you. I'm Australian, and I'm sun conscious- I do not burn. I certainly do not peel. And on my FACE of all places? On the plus side, my arms are pretty damn brown now- except of course for the thin white line from wear my bangle sat.

We returned to the hotel, saddle sore and sun burnt, in search of cocktails. It was while I was reading by the pool, sipping my near-undrinkable-due-to-the-shear-amount-of-booze caipirinha that I discovered that the backs of my hands had too fallen victim to some rare sun exposure and reacted by coming up a rather brilliant shade of pink. Thankfully this was one part of me that didn't peel.

That night we had dinner at Nha Xanh- a German owned, water front restaurant boasting the best ice cream in Hoi An. I enjoyed a delicious feta filled ravioli with an arrabiata style sauce, two Mango Jack cocktails (mango, passionfruit and vodka. i think they made it using gelato as opposed to real fruit. Genius) and a scoop of passionfruit gelato. The owner, who also acts as the head chef, actually came out to ask the customers if everything was ok with their meals. It's my dad's favourite restaurant in Hoi An, which is saying something because it takes a lot for him to set foot in a non-traditional restaurant when overseas.

On Friday morning me and Steph relaxed at the Na Spa with a massage each. She tried the ninety minute hot stone therapy and I went for a sixty minute Swedish massage. We were in the massage room for about 30seconds when the masseuse turned to Steph and exclaimed "take off your blouse but keep your underwear." She was torn between being taken aback by the abruptness and being relieved that she was allowed to keep her underwear on.

With my extra time after my massage, I had a mani/pedi. When Steph came back down to wait while I got my nails did, they brought some delicious tea over to us. We both wanted to know what liquid concoction could taste so good so we asked what kind of tea it is. My nail attendant wasn't sure of the English word so she asked another member of staff, pointing at a chunk of ginger sitting on the front desk. The second girl picked up the ginger and held it out to Steph, with a look of deep confusion that clearly meant "why the fuck am I giving this crazy white woman a piece of ginger?" as the entire spa erupted into those cute giggles that only Asians seem to be capable of. When we'd calmed down a bit, the receptionist came over to us and quietly muttered "it's lemon tea."

 That afternoon I went on a quest for one of my favourite foods- Chicken Bahn Mi. Now I may have given a summary of these delicious rolls (commonly referred to as Mascot Rolls because there's place is Mascot that is so good at making them, they have a line out the front all day every day) in a previous post but just in case I missed some vital information, Bahn Mi are Vietnamese style bread rolls. You can get chicken, pork, pate, egg or even schnitzel with salad and various yummy goods like coriander, mayonnaise and soy sauce. It probably sounds completely bizarre but they're amazing. The bread it the perfect blend of crunchy and fluffy (Thanks to the French influence) the chicken is perfectly marinated and they're far more generous with their portions than, say, subway. And far cheaper- at Mascot it's $4.50 for a roll. Now unfortunately I discovered that there is nowhere to get chicken bahn mi in Vietnam. Only pork, pate or egg- none being things I enjoy eating. 

At 12:30pm we were picked up and transported in sweet air conditioning, on cushioned seats to Hoi An domestic terminal, where I was overjoyed to discover they sold my favourite (German) chocolate- Rittersport Knusperflakes, for about $4.50 for a 100g block.

Who says everything in Vietnam is cheap?

Coming up next- Hanoi

-m xx

Monday, May 02, 2011


Firstly, an apology.
I'm full of lies right?
But seriously I have such a glittering social life that I had no time to blog this weekend.
Plus I forgot...

I've got a tonne of work going on right now. Of course, the week i go away is the same week they decide to give me extra stuff to do and the same week that a whole bunch of leads come in. It's getting to the point where a team would be nice.

As for this weekend and the obvious absence of HAWPs, I was up in the central coast, visiting the boyf's fambam. His 4 year old brother seems to have gotten over his too-scared-to-talk-to-the-big-scary-Mel-phase and apparently loves me now. I don't understand how I can be shit with kids and yet they seem to like me? Maybe it's like cats- they always sit on the lap of the person who had a traumatic feline experience or has a severe allergy.

I've got more posts coming to sum up my Vietnam trip in a way that is both eloquent and entertaining but I thought a wee post on what's happening in my life in general might be nice. I'm such a social butterfly that I managed to get me and a large group of my friends uninvited from someones 20th birthday celebrations, simply because we had other plans. Honestly though we all said we could come to pres but then we had already arranged to go to Teen Spirit and maybe the birthday girl would enjoy it too because she hadn't decided where to go yet. But all of a sudden we were uninvited from pres and then a brand new event was made without us on the guest list so we couldn't further besmirch her reputation with our horrid remarks (examples include, but are not limited to "I'm going to Teen Spirit." and "It's pretty cool ******, you should consider it." Kids can be so cruel).

It's so high school.

Anyway it's providing endless amusement for the lot of us because we'll be having fun grooving to 90s tunes on Oxford Street while the birthday-goers enjoy spending yet another Friday night on George Street (non-Sydney-siders, it would be too complicated to explain to you why Oxford pwns George). And Birthday Girl made the mistake of starting a fight with Kasey, who will be known from now on as The Guard Bitch.

Similar to a guard dog, the Guard Bitch verbally defends itself and those it is most loyal to from emotional onslaught. The guard bitch has also been known to enjoy proving people wrong, simply because it can. It differentiates from the regular bitch with its use of Creativity and Intelligence, which have been known to render its opponent defenseless. The Guard Bitch can be seen spending its time finding amusement in the intellectual failure of others.

I bought some extremely exciting nail polishes by BYS yesterday. A gorgeous blue- it's so bright it's almost fluorescent- a UV reactive top coat which will make any polish glow under black light, a blue shade that changes colour slightly depending on body temperature and black "crackle" effect, which shrinks as it dries to form cracks, much like OPIs "shatter" but from what I've seen so far, isn't so effective. All four for less than $20 which is completely mind blowing to me. When I test them I'll be sure to post up some shots or brief reviews.

Well, my Vietnam photos have just finished uploading onto the computer so I should hopefully have the next Viet post up tomorrow. But don't hold your breath just in case.

-m xx