Can't Hold us Down

My favourite weekly fashion mag, Grazia published one of my letters again. Unfortunately I didn't get letter of the week but considering this weeks prize was skin cream and I'm 19 I'm not too dissapointed. Just like last time, they edited me down to save space so here is what I wrote:

""Slut" is a word I don't agree with. Women should not be judged on their sexual behaviour or the way they dress. Why is it men are applauded for having multiple sexual partners but women are made to feel ashamed? I agree with Bettina Arndt that women are often the first to point the finger at one another and call names but our like-mindedness ends there. Referring to SlutWalk as "flagrant pirck-teasing" is completely narrow minded. Women marching for their right to dress how they want are not "taunting decent men" if they show some skin. We're dressing for ourselves and nobody else.

I think Ms Arndt needs to get off her high horse and get laid."

They cut out my last sentence which was dissapointing but not surprising. I was looking forward to insulting the author of The Sex Diaries. Who is, from what I've seen so far (I haven't had the fortune of reading her book) a narrow minded bitch. If you think I'm harsh, find last week's Grazia and read the pro and con article on the Slut Walk.

For anyone who's reading this and wondering why the s word is being thrown around with reckless abandon, the Slut Walk is a march for women protesting to wear what they want without being judged for it. On January 24th this year, a representative from the Toronto Police spoke on campus safety at Osgode Hall Law School remarked that "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimised". This was the catalyst for the original Slut Walk in Toronto- an aim at claiming the word back, rejecting the insulting connotations that have come with it in the past, and telling the world that victims of sexual assault should never be blamed.

For me, it's completely ridiculous to blame someone's clothes for the horrible things that someone else has done. Sexual assault is in no way about how the victim was dressed, and yet people (let's be honest here; men) seem to think that it is. Even with a march like this going on, the face book event page for the Sydney Slut Walk was full of comments from men about how the march is unneccessary, and women should be careful not to dress in a way that "provokes" assault.

Most sexual assault happens with someone the victim knows, but in the case of "stranger rape" it is veyr much about dominating the other person; taking something from them without their consent. If the argument is that dressing in a "sexy" way is like giving our consent then surely rapists are more likely to go for the person who looks like a prude? It's the lack of consent that is the turn on for these types of people, and saying that wearing a short skirts makes us targets is just as ridiculous as saying wearing a short skirt prevents rape.

A rapist doesn't consider what a woman is wearing or what her sexual history may be and nor should anyone else. Women are always being judged and branded for their sexual behaviour, while men get praised. I will be the first to admit that women are the ones pointing the finger at each other. I wish I could explain how this double standard begun but it must come from somewhere within us.  I know I personally would feel a sense of guilt if I was having casual sex, because to me it should mean something.

As for why, I'm at a complete loss.

-m xx