Oh, and p.s.

I believe I mentioned the other day that I waxed a friend's chest? Well, large chunks of it were filmed, and lovely Jared has edited it into a 6min film of pain and awesomeness.

If you have never heard my voice, you may freak out a bit. I don't talk much but I know that when reading a blog you get an idea in your head of what a person sounds like and if I don't meet that expectation I'm sorry! As a special treat, you may even hear me sing a bit! So please, don't have a mental breakdown over my man-voice and the weird accent I sometimes adopt when on video. I don't mean to do it.



En.Joy.

-m xx

P.S. pay close attention to the scene where Jared waxes a strip. I instruct him on how to do it, specifically saying "do not pull up." What does he do? And Andy ends up with a square hickey on his chest from it.

P.P.S mushroom nailpolish featured heavily in the vid.

'Tis the season

As far as Christmas goes, this year was fair decent. Pimm's and lemonade, cheap bubbly made classy with gold, a hell of a lot of gravy, home made apple pie, potato bake, and eating way too much. Christmas used to involve celebrations with my dad's side of the family. But since they're all strewn around NSW and Queensland and generally suffer from laziness and no doubt and unwillingness to see each other, I haven't been subjected to the big Brown gathering for a number of years. That, coupled with the fact that I can drink as much as I like now, means Christmas has improved the last couple of years.

I did visit my paternal Grandmother this year though. Something I don't do very often (because it's unbearable, basically. Torture) and recently she was placed in a nursing home due to problems with her heart. Wasn't a very cheerful place to be at Christmas time, with all the old people hobbling around muttering, but I now know what an adult diaper looks like! (not my Nan's. Thank god.) Let's hope I don't wake up one day, age 80 and realise my grandchildren, and some of my children, can't stand to be around me.

If you can't have goldflakes in your champagne at Christmas, when can you?

On a cheerier note, NYE today! I'm fairly excited. Just heading to a house party in the Eastern suburbs, near Coogee beach. Last night we found out it's been declared an (optional) toga party at the last minute. I already have a dress which I purchased especially, and am rather fond of, but am slightly dissapointed at not wearing a toga. If I'd knownb a few weeks ago, I would have been on that. I would have made it my mission to style that toga to the point of maximum awesomeness. But I have many years ahead of me and I'm sure there's another toga party somewhere in the future.

How long does a candle last?

About a wick!

This week, my nails are a pale pearlescent pink, with white glitter top coat- glitter and NYE just work! I'm hoping to get a tonne of photos tonight, once I find my camera that is. I think it might be at my other house... I'm trying to decide whether taking my SLR is a good idea. I don't want it getting broken/sticky/stolen/lost. We'll see.

See you next year!

-m xx

Merry Xmas!

I don't really like Christmas all that much.

So I'm not going to talk about it.
Here, have a video instead!



Happy Holidays and all that politically correct crap.

-m xx

Mushroom.

OK, so I have a wee tendency to get a bit obsessive over completely insignificant things sometimes. The best example of this is my nails. I paint them. Every single Monday. Even whilst travelling around Europe, my weekly DIY manicures rarely went off track. I haven't left the house with unpainted nails in who knows how long.

Because of this, I have a serious impulse purchase weakness for nailpolish. I mean, I'm even one of those slightly odd people who pay attention to nail colour trends, and am always on the lookout for something new and unique (example: OPIs "shatter." Black top coat that shrinks as it dries to create a shattered effect- I NEED this in my life, I HAVE to find it. Coolest.)

I mean, just today I bought two nailpolishes while I was supposed to be Christmas shopping. Yellow, which I've been meaning to buy for aaaaaaaaages (trend. see?) and a shimmery white colour, because a) glittery nail polish is (apparently) acceptable again and b) NYE is around the corner and if you can't wear glitter on NYE, when can you?

Honestly, I think if I removed my nail polish and didn't repaint the that same evening my world might just implode. Sometimes, I plan the next colour I'll use days ahead. That said, because I paint them weekly, as opposed to when I randomly feel like it, I never match them to my outfits. I actually cry a little inside if my nails are the same colour as something I'm wearing. It unsettles me. Throws off my day and can ruin my enjoyment of my outfit. Yupp, I'm a freak.

Now I've got that off my chest... I got a New Job! So I got let go last Monday, half-heartedly applied for a couple of things on Tuesday, that same day got called in for an interview on Wednesday and got the job on Thursday. Yes, it happens that fast. Anyway so it's a telemarketing role for Starshots (glamour photography studio chain) whereby I make bookings for them. This was one of my roles at You Studios, the place I worked before going overseas so it'll be easy to pick up. I start in Jan and actually have a photoshoot as part of my training. And no, I'm not just observing- I'm the model. I was so shocked today when I found that out. And of course, tehey won't know I'm the telemarketer, so I can get the same experience as any other customer and all that crap. I'm kind of excited but also super nervous because I feel pretty awkward on the other side of the camera.

It's only a part time role, probably only about 15hours a week, but they're hoping that it will be quite long term. And since I'll be studying photography, I may be able to move on from telesales and into a photography role after some time. Exciting stuff indeed.

So that's the real reason for posting, but I needed to get the nailpolish thing off my chest. And as a special treat, I'll be telling you all what colour my nails are every week (yay!).

This week: mushroom. I love it, it goes with basically everything without actually being mathcy matchy. If you're nail kit is lacking mushroom polish (grey/brown, often with purple undertones) GO BUY SOME RIGHT NOW. It may possibly change your life.

-m xx

UPDATE: So yesterday evening,w hile at a freind's place waxing another friend's chest (no, not kidding. It took about 3 hours) a THIRD friend (oh gosh I have so many) remarked on my nailpolish. My mushroom nailpolish.
Sounding rather skeptical, he quipped "your nails are... brown..."
To which I of course replied that they weren't "brown" and were in fact "mushroom." "Duh."

And they're now coated in a strange mix of wax and talcum powder.

They rapin' errbody

Firstly, finally put photos up of the latest Marlow gig. They are, as usual, on my photo blog.
Secondly, have a present.



The bit at the end kinda kills it, with the random dude doing a piano "cover." But I couldn't be bothered trying to find a version without it.

-m xx

Khaki and Leopard.

ZOMG could it be? is it? No really? an...

Outfit post?

Khaki Chiffon maxi skirt- Supre (yes. I know.)

Leopard print Dress, worn as bodice- Cotton On

Belt- Dorothy Perkins

Camera Necklace- Sportsgirl

World's most awesome shoes- Yaliana.

So I bought this skirt a few weeks ago. I love it. It is possibly the most awesome thing I own. It also comes in other colours- cream, black, and the less chic and more classically supre colours like bright yellow and pink (yes, really). On Sunday I decided I wanted to wear it. It was hanging on the back of a chair in my dining room (pictured above, rarely used for dining). It was surrounded by other clothes of mine, recently resurfaced from the washing machine. My mother has given up on placing them on my bed for me, for fear of tripping on any of the things generally strewn across my floor and breaking her neck. Now, draped casually over the skirt, was my leopard print dress.

Inspiration.

I wasn't sure if it would work, because the skirt of the dress does puff out a bit, but seeing the two together made me think they would look great together ON ME. I was very happy to see that the dress could be worn as a top without betraying its true identity to the outside world. And thus, an outfit was born. It kind of reminds me of Clueless, and one of Amber's many crazy outfits. In particular the one that looks like she walked through a jungle, during a war, in a strong wind and came out covered in leopard fur and soldiers clothing. Unfortunately I've searched for a still of it and nothing doing.

Now these shoes are possibly the most badass things I own. I love the irony in them- cute girly ballet flats with a bigass skull smacked onto them. Love it. They have a heaviness to them which is really satisfying- so that you can't forget that you've got skulls on your feet. And they are super comfy!

I don't really have plans for today (or any other) past posting this blog. And of course, the demise of my job coincides with the first empty weekend since I got back. I'm not kidding. every weekend has been packed, I've barely had any time to just chill and now? My house is chill town and I'm the disgruntled mayor. Good thing I'm rereading all of my Marian Keyes books at the moment. Losing myself in them and then finding ways to add Irish affectations into my every day jargon should keep me occupied. Seriously though, I said "so" at the END of a sentence the other day. Like, instead of "then." Mortified.

Ok to those who DON'T read Irish chick-lit that may not have made sense. So Irish people do this (grammatically incorrect, yet infectious) thing where they say "so" instead of "then." kind of like how Aussie teenagers like to come across as completely uneducated by saying "but" at the end of a sentence when there's a perfectly good word, known as "though," which is intended to be used in the embarrassing situation when you forget to say "but" before the rest of the sentence. Anyway, let me provide an example

Example 1: Australian conversation

Aussie 1: Oh I drove to the bbq today.

Aussie 2: Oh great, you can drive me home, then. I live down the road from you.

Example 2: Irish conversation

Mick 1: I drove to the pub today. I've only had a coupla pints.

Mick 2: Grand! You can drive me home, so.

(notice lack of "I live down the road from you" because Ireland is quite small, and there are pubs everywhere, so if you're at the same one, you probably live in the same building)

See? Doesn't make sense. It used to irritate me no end, but now I find it kind of... charming. Next I'll be saying things like "fair play to you" and "yoke" and "yer man over there" and "feck."

I'll feck off with myself, so

-m xx

P.s. If any Irish people read this and are, for some reason, offended- I do apologise. Me grandmammy's pa is as Irish as... Guinness and Waterford crystal combined. I have freckles and I LOVE potatoes. It's ok.

Not again...

I am jobless. Again. Not happy Jan.

Seriously though, I went into work today, feeling like I might have been sleeping with my eyes. Getting out of bed had been a challenge, I never sleep well on Sunday nights. Possibly because I still haven't gotten myself re-accustomed to sharing my bed with a cuddly, warm, occassionally snoring boy after 3months of single beds, and every time he moves I wake up, but most likely simply because it's Sunday and the knowledge that I have to wake up at 6am and go to work for the next 5 days and I really SHOULD get a good night's sleep for once, frightening the sleep out of me. Damn contrary brain.

Despite a general attitude of sleepiness and apathy, I managed to get two appointments before 12pm today. I was feeling pretty awesome. I could be lazy and barely work for the rest of the day and it wouldn't matter. OR I could try and reach the mystical number of magic and joy: 3. But, as it were, at 12:30pm we had an unusually-timed meeting.

I even commented with excitement on its unusual timing. The others in the room laughed nervously and looked grim. Apparently, on Friday, a day I'd skived off work to ensure there was enough time for lining up outside the Acer arena to get a good spot for Muse (only to almost pass out, but more on that later) we'd received word that Vodafone had cut their telesales budget, leaving nothing left for the Bizfone team. Bastards. So our wee 5-person team were all let go. Which explained why everyone looked like someone had died when I went into work this morning.

So I now have no job. Again. Which doesn't suck too much because I would have had my three-week christmas break pretty soon anyway so I'm not missing out on much pay in the end. But it's not really the best time to job hunt. I've noticed a few clothing shops in Chatswood are hiring, so I may do some trawling this week.

So, because I don't like the negative turn this blog has taken of late, here are some pictures. Happy ones.

Also as you may have noticed from the last photo, I went for a new hair colour. Less red. I was getting sick of the weird pinky browny colour it fades to.

Oh and yes, that is a hollowed out dildo being drunk out of.

all for now, but I'll be back soon, since I have no life now.

-m xx